Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I'm sorry

I forgot how unimportant I was to you. I thought things were going great. I thought things were getting better. I thought we could do this for once. But no. You proved me wrong. I can't handle trying so much anymore. And boy, I tried so hard. You laugh at me when I cry and then you laugh with your friends. I'm getting exhausted...

You proved to me how low a friend can be. How shit a friend can be. Hell, I can't believe I'm still holding onto you, trying to keep you as one of my friends. What the hell is wrong with me? You hurt me like no one else ever has, and you don't even care. Why can't I let go?

You only ever talk to me when your bored at home and have nothing else to do. You only talk to me when your friends aren't around. You only talk to me when you want something from me.
When your with your friends, I don't exist. When your drunk, I'm just another problem.

You don't see how hard I try to keep things perfect. You don't care. Why do I still care? I don't want to care. You bailed on me to go get drunk with your friends when I need you the most. I needed you so fucking much. But I get it, things like that are better than helping me... than having my company. And fair enough, I'm really not that great. But thank you for making the loneliness sting a thousand more times.

I hope that someday you'll ache like I ache.

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